hiking and non-hiking friends (moved from Q&A)

hiking and non-hiking friends

Are most of your friends hiking buddies? Do your non-hiking friends feel like most of your free time is spent on the hill and have less time to do things with them??

We have both hiking and non-hiking friends. Most of our non-hiking friends either do other outdoors stuff, or they're couch potatoes who think I'm a nut job for going out into the woods. Of course, some of my hiking friends think I'm a nut job for going out into the woods, too...

We make time for our non-hiking friends, too. Otherwise, they wouldn't be friends.

I'm a solitary sort, but what friends I have seem all to be outdoor enthusiasts--hikers, climbers and sailors, mostly. I claim that it's because more solitary types can't keep up with me, but the truth is I probably just bore them

porky

I sometimes feel guilty about neglecting my non-hiking friends, some of whom have been friends since adolescence (a lot of years!). But they don't mind: they are grateful that I've stopped trying to convert them into hikers.

Unfortunately I don't have any hiking/backpacking friends. That is why I always go solo. And when I have gone winter camping, they all think I'm insane. Of course that's not just close friends. That's everybody. Like they say, if you have to ask, you wouldn't understand anyway. I have been hiking/backpacking for nearly fifty years and have hiked/backpacked solo for probably the last 30 years. Never stopped me though. I still do plenty of things with friends that we both like. I grew up camping and what we called "sleeping out". Long before there was backpacking equipment. The friends I grew up with that use to camp out are all long gone or have lost interest in it. But as I said, it hasn't stopped me. If solo it is, then solo it is.

Let’s see.

Hiking is a passion of mine, but it’s far from being my only interest and pastime. My circle of friends is fairly extensive, and very diverse, as to our common grounds. So the answer is, no, most of my friends are not hiking buddies.

In truth, few of my friends -- and even acquaintances -- are hiking buddies.

And no, I don’t think my friends feel neglected because I hike and they don’t. None have indicated they feel that way, anyhow.

Some friends may think I’m a bit peculiar because of my hiking. At least one very dear friend (mine and Mrs. G’s) of many decades makes great sport of my hiking and has done so for years. But then, turnabout being fair play, I make great sport of some of her peculiarities, too. And we laugh together. Real friendship transcends differences. It may even celebrate them.

G.

Wow! This is a question that really hits close to home! Those that know me know, I'm very much the social type. 9 out of 10 times, I'll choose doing a hike I have no interest in over one I do, just for the company. Consequently, I have a lot of hiking friends.

On the other hand, since getting out every weekend is a priority for me, I often find it difficult to find the time to do things with my non-hiking friends. I still see them but not very often...

I know it's a choice I make and while at times I feel a little bad about it, the "call of the wild" is too strong to keep me in the city!

I try to keep some balence in life - and hiking is no exception - I typically never hike more than 2 weekends per month. (and most of the time its like every 3rd weekend) - life just gets in the way! I have many non-hiking freinds - in fact most of my freinds are non-hiking. Yes - most of my buddies don't get it why I would rather hike than sit around and drink all weekend - (which is fun too - just not every weekend!). As with audrey, I do sometimes feel that I do neglect some freinds sometimes. Now that i have a child, its got worse. Something had to give of course it wasn't going to be the child, so I many times I have to choose, to hike/climb or attend at BBQ, etc..

most times I hike if possible, but lately, I have a had a slew of 30th b-day parties, 50th anniveries, kids being born, etc..

audrey said:

they are grateful that I've stopped trying to convert them into hikers.

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Well said Audrey. It took me a long time to learn that lesson (and only one of my non-hiking friends ever "switched teams" after many attempts on my part.)

I don't see my non-hiking friends quite as often as I should... but they understand how important hiking is to me. That's why they are my friends in the first place.

- Ivy

I have plenty of friends in both categories... but then to me it's more than just "hiking" friends.

I have work friends, drinking friends, music friends, hiking friends, climbing friends, biking friends...

But I do feel sometimes that I'm neglecting my non-outdoors friends.

cbcbd said:

I have plenty of friends in both categories... but then to me it's more than just "hiking" friends.

I have work friends, drinking friends, music friends, hiking friends, climbing friends, biking friends...

But I do feel sometimes that I'm neglecting my non-outdoors friends.

Click to expand...

this is exactly what I was trying to say!! said perfectly

I don't have a lot of friends and that's the way I like it; I'm a loner by nature. The few friends I do have are not into hiking at all. In fairness to them though, my state is not a big hiking/backpacking state. What few trails we have are fairly good ones but there isn't a great deal of scenery or challenge. Most of my hiking is done in the WMNF but I can only get there a few times a year. My best friend would rather sit home on the couch and either watch a live Patriots game or a DVD of the 3 Super Bowls. The other guys think hiking is a waste of time.

This is all fine with me since I like to hike alone anyway. The exception to that is when I bring my son with me. I have many other interests and hobbies so I'm able to maintain my few friendships in other ways.

I have a difficult time recruiting my friends and family to hike with me. Most of them think I'm a little crazy and will put them through to rigorous a hike. My sons ages 8 and 16 think I am big time crazy. My dogs are bonkers about going hiking. With enthusiasm so abundant, I've just got to take them.

What??? there are non-hiking friends?

Wow, I need to get in more.

Jay

Friends, what determines a friend over a hiking friend, another Volleyball player or an old drinking buddy?

Or when I think of family, I only see & call mine around Birthdays & Holidays (there are a lot of children & grandchildren, I'm one of seven) while my wife is always on the phone talking about the most mundane aspsects of daily life & they care about that too. (I'd have to lose a limb before someone besides Mom would be concerned)

Back to friends:

Have meet several people here & on the AMC boards & hiked with about 15-20 other hikers, many I'd call a friend, not sure you'd be the first ones I'd write if my Grandmother passed tomorrow though. There is something to be said though about sharing the outdoors with others, especially in winter when their is an aspect of survival involved.

My other activity where I have had a passion is volleyball & when in season I'd call those guys friends too, I've played with some of them for 12-14 years & they know my wife, I went to their wedding, they know my brothers (one works with one of a brother of mine now), my aunt, etc...

Still see a few of the old drinking buddies, a couple I've known since elementary school, now 35 years ago. In fact I should see them the weekend after the Presi-Traverse. I only see them a couple of times between HS Reunions though. I made a mistake of dating & marrying a sister of the girls they were married too.

When everyone was happy, it was quite a clique, three sisters & one of their best friends married to two brothers & a very good friend of each brother. It was easier to see the guys very occasionally Vs. causing friction in their marriages although time (now 15 years) has healed some of that.

Now the people at work, they think I'm nuts but admire the commitment.

Of course I do find guys have different relationships with their friends than woman do. I'll tell you about how I feel about the Red Sox, the travesty currently known as the Bruins or my thoughts on the redundancy known as Corona Light but don't ask how I actually feel about getting older, my job, my life, etc... (PS I don't stop for directions either )

I have a plethora (I so rarely get to use that word in a sentence ) of friends, but none of them are hikers. I occasionally drag my older brother out, but he makes lots of excuses and only goes out once every couple of months. Most of my friends have other things occupying their time (families, hobbies, etc), so I don’t pry too much for them to hike. Currently I’m between girlfriends (I can never seem to find one that likes hiking or camping), so I have plenty of time for myself. Unfortunately I have to work every other weekend, as well as paint the house, do the yardwork (I have a large yard), split and stack the firewood, etc, so I can’t get out hiking as often as I’d like.

I'd say just about all of my friends or people I associate with are hikers or runners. If somebody doesn't do either, we're just not going to have too much else in common. My recent exgirlfriend will attest to that.

Audrey and Ivy summed it up for me....

My old friends do not hike, my hiking friends hike...
I hike - so I see my hiking friends more.
You rarely can convert a nonhiker - I have also given up on that...

With two little boys (alright...Aaron is 3 1/2...he insists that he is a big boy) I find my self getting out to hike twice a month and overnights are on the back burner for awhile. The plus side is Aaron loves to hike...hope Zach will too. We got to get Mom back out here too!

wow....so much drama!??!?!?

i hike with hiking friends, take neighborhood walks with most anyone, get pissed with my drinkin' buddies, bike with friends with bikes, play chess with the Sunday Chess Crew, climb with my climbing friends, debate politics with activist friends....etc etc. i never thought of there being any type of struggle, but then i've never tried to drag someone kickin' and screamin' to do something There's also healthy crossover between everyone and if someone wants to try something its all good.

my non hiking friends don't think i'm crazy, my mom loves my pics and stories and everyone seems to like either wine or beer and funk music. Life is good.

ok, one exception, my friend greg, G-Money. yes, G-Money does indeed hate the outdoors, even once tried to talk someone out of hiking the AT because, "Nature hates you, it wants to kill you. There's lightening, floods, bears and falling trees." but we get along well, and he admits his chisled gym body prolly isn't nearly as strong as my no-gym going, outdoor sleeping and climbing dirty self

We are pretty lucky in that most of our friends hike. Since there is a law in CT that all middle age males must play golf, I also split my time between the mountains and the links. I only have one cross-over friend (hasn’t had the operation yet) who both skis and golfs, although the latter quite badly.