Women and hiking

I'm interested in hearing about the experiences of my fellow (hmm "fellow" seems like a strange word to use here ) women hikers. All kinds of experiences, but in part what makes the female experience different from the male experience.

So I'll start us off. I guess one of the things that has been an issue for me as a single woman hiker is guys assuming that I'm looking for a boyfriend. I'm not, but this has happened so often that I'm always half-expecting it and sometimes I think I may be in danger of over-reacting: assuming that I'm being hit upon when someone is just trying to be friendly. One solution for me has been to hike alone (hence the name).

Solitary said:

but in part what makes the female experience different from the male experience.

Click to expand...

peeing

Well, the message was too short so I'll add that I, too, often hike alone and therefore am very conscious of my surroundings. Initially, that was for safety but it has added to the overall experience of the things seen, heard and felt.

It is highly unlikely that female hikers would think that a single male hiker is looking for a girlfriend....

On the other hand, my boyfriend and I met in the woods 15 years ago.... but neither one of us were looking... we were just hiking....

carole said:

peeing

Click to expand...

That goes for cycling and kayaking too. The only times in my life I've ever had "penis envy" was whenever I've had to pee outdoors.

carole said:

Well, the message was too short so I'll add that I, too, often hike alone and therefore am very conscious of my surroundings. Initially, that was for safety but it has added to the overall experience of the things seen, heard and felt.

Click to expand...

Agreed. I love solo hiking! While I've enjoyed most of the hikes that I've done with other people, I've enjoyed every hike that I've done solo. Meditation in motion...

The biggest difference I notice :

Women tend to make a real deal of hiking alone, as if it was an act of bravery.

Some men do so, but it's probably their ''feminine side'' speaking

men like women, women like men........

timmus said:

The biggest difference I notice :

Women tend to make a real deal of hiking alone, as if it was an act of bravery.

Some men do so, but it's probably their ''feminine side'' speaking

Click to expand...

Timmus - I had to laugh as I thought to myself how I feel courageous when I step out of my comfort zone and join a group............

Well, I'm not a woman, but may I offer:

Women With Altitude, by Carol White - About the first few female W46ers

http://www.adkhighpeaks.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5646

My wife and I met on the trail, but it was many years before we got together...

wardsgirl said:

It is highly unlikely that female hikers would think that a single male hiker is looking for a girlfriend....

Click to expand...

ENNNHHHHHHH! (That was supposed to be an imitation of the buzzer you'd hear on a game show when the contestant gave a wrong answer.)

Back in the days of my singularity (singlehood?), I looked at the woods (organized AMC hikes in particular) as my own personal singles bar. And I was not shocked to find that many single women felt the same way!


bob

I have heard from friends that the AMC group trips (hiking, kayaking, etc.) are often meet markets. An ex-girlfriend of mine met her husband that way. To say that I was shocked to find out she joined the AMC, went hiking and kayaking, was an understatement. She was not, during any portion of our many years together, and outdoor person.

Which brings up a related point (or two). Hiking seems to be much closer to 50/50 then my other endeavors. Alpine skiing would be 50/50, but XC is not. Cycling even less so (especially racing) and fishing, well (in New England anyway) it's probably 95% males. Being a software engineer also put me in primarily male-dominant surroundings. Most people have rules against dating co-workers, which means if you're not into singles bars, or personals, or internet dating sites, what have you got left? Nothing wrong with wanting to meet someone with similar interests and the best way to do that is to partake of your interests. Anyone can write "I enjoy hiking" in a personal ad, but if you encounter them on some obscure NH100 peak it's a pretty good bet they are legitimate

My wife is an outdoors person. She skis (mostly) but will hike, cycle and fish. I met her by being an outdoors person and doing what I liked to do and bumped into her in the process. I wasn't looking at the time, but we started a conversation and exchanged numbers. She called me first. The rest is history. We still enjoy the outdoors together, and are getting the kids into it more and more as they get bigger.

Tim

Not sure how we compare (male vs. female) as I am more in tune with my experience as a woman. I will say that I am single and enjoy hiking solo especially when I need my solitude. I also enjoy partnering with another person or going on group hikes.

Early on I recall another forum's trip leader asking me, "Do you hike to find a date or to lose weight?" I thought, "huh?!" I remember responding, "neither". I have a love for the outdoors first and foremost and I have no "agenda" when I hike. Thinking back on this statement now, I think it's rather demeaning to assume this of women in this day.

As far as it being a medium for finding a date or mate, I don't think it is the best venue as for most of us, we're huffing and puffing, sweaty and grimey. Also, personally, my hiking partners to date are typically male "married" friends which doesn't help if I did run into a potential suitor.

Something too that's been mentioned above is the fact that I've often gotten the remark, "you're hiking alone?" or "wow, you're hiking all alone!". I remember one woman hiking with a group offered to say a "prayer" for me. I just had to smile... .

"We've come a long way (baby)" but obviously not long enough...

timmus said:

The biggest difference I notice :
Women tend to make a real deal of hiking alone, as if it was an act of bravery.

Click to expand...

It's interesting that you say that, timmus. I've found the opposite. When I am hiking solo and meet people on the trail, I find it is usually men who comment on me hiking alone... and more often then not, they start in with a lecture. So much so, that I rarely admit I'm alone anymore-- mainly because I don't want to hear about why I shouldn't be out there by myself.

- Ivy

HikerAmiga said:

Early on I recall another forum's trip leader asking me, "Do you hike to find a date or to lose weight?" I thought, "huh?!" I remember responding, "neither". I have a love for the outdoors first and foremost and I have no "agenda" when I hike. Thinking back on this statement now, I think it's rather demeaning to assume this of a women in this day.

Click to expand...

Wow. That's perfect.

I, too, often get asked if I’m ‘alone’, ‘all by yourself’, ‘where’s your group’, etc. One older gentleman offered to hike out with me as he didn’t feel right leaving me out there alone. I don’t imagine solo males get asked that nearly as often.

A true story: In Ragged Mt. (N.Conway) I was looking at the flavors of GU near the checkout counter. The guy behind the counter offered, “Those aren’t diet foods”. ? Huh ? Would he have said that to a male?

carole said:

peeing

Click to expand...

I know on many Catskill 3500 Club hikes about 10 minutes into the hike the leader would call "separation" and the men would hike on ahead out of sight. We women would then do "whatever" and then when we started hiking we would call out so that we wouldn't catch the men writing their names in the snow . I think the idea of doing it at the beginning of a hike was because we had all had long drives to the trailhead with morning cups of coffee, etc.

carole said:

One older gentleman offered to hike out with me as he didn’t feel right leaving me out there alone. I don’t imagine solo males get asked that nearly as often.

Click to expand...

FWIW, I (a male) have hiked out with an older gentleman from Franconia Ridge because he was getting tired and it was getting late. (We were both solo.) It was as much for his safety as anything else.

Turned out he also interesting and enjoyable to talk with on the way out.

Works both ways....

Doug

I have never had anyone I've met on the trail, male or female, wonder about my judgement or worry about me hiking solo when it was obvious that I was. I don't always hike alone, but when I do, I prefer it that way and I've never gotten questioned or scolded (and it's a good thing, too, cuz' I'd hate to have to kick anybody's a**! ).

Roxi said:

Agreed. I love solo hiking! While I've enjoyed most of the hikes that I've done with other people, I've enjoyed every hike that I've done solo. Meditation in motion...

Click to expand...

YES INDEED! MEDITATION IN MOTION
I have been hiking solo for approx. 35 years. I came to appreciate way back when, that I would grow old in my rocking chair if I was not willing to do this. What a horrible thought
The only criteria I have is that I must always be in the company of one or two dogs. I simply would not enjoy hiking without them. Not only do I love looking at the world through their eyes but they also provide me with a certain measure of comfort, security.
I can also go at my own pace and the older I get, the slower I am, so that does take a lot of pressure off trying to keep up with the younger folks.
I have hiked with others and enjoyed it but schedules were not always compatible so I was very happy to enjoy my own expeditions. I did not encounter many people who maligned me for being alone. I would say the opposite was true. They seemed to be in awe that I had the guts to "just do it" and some even offered words of encouragement. edit= This applies to people I have met on trails. Now my peers at work all thought I was a raving lunatic but I never took that seriously. What else could you expect from people whose greatest adventure in life is taking a "booze cruise".
I have had several encounters over the years where I was very grateful for my dog's intervention. I won't go into these because I have described them on these boards in the past. Long live the DOG!

Hiking companies like New England Hiking Holidays most often have women clients, who are nervous about hiking alone. I would like to meet more solo female hikers on the trail, but then what is my motivation for that sentient?
Enjoying other hikers, pure and simple.
It would seem that the alternative of women hiking alone would be women hiking with women or with men who know where they are coming from.

The only differences I've experienced is peeing and periods.

Most of my day hiking and backpacking has been solo and although some hiking folks comment that *they* would not like to travel solo, nobody I've met on the trail ever really suggested to me that I should not. Non-hikers are a different story but they don't count .

Only on one occasion have I been made to feel so uncomfortable at a shelter (Gray Knob...the caretaker was absent) that I packed up and went elsewhere for the night. I later spoke to a few other people of both genders who were also sketched out by that guy so it wasn't a male/female thing that time. The dude was evidently an equal-opportunity creep.

-vegematic

It's not just about hiking alone

So I had a feeling that the "hiking alone" thing might hijack the thread.

As a woman I don't mind hiking alone. Some women do. Some men don't mind hiking alone, some men do.

I have a sense - and I'll be the first to admit that maybe I'm reading too much into this - that some (and I'm not necessarily talking about males on this bulletin board, so if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it) of the males who I have heard opine on this issue tend to dismiss the concerns of women about being hit on as not being real or that "it works both ways." I'll admit that some women sometimes hike looking for prospective male partners just as some men do the same thing. But would argue that falling in love is not the same as "hitting on someone." But I would argue that the reason hitting on someone is not the same for both genders is that although men and women inhabit the same physical world they live in very different actual worlds.

Men - at least most straight men - don't live in a world where they are in danger of being sexually assaulted or raped. But women do. Many women hikers who regularly climb one mountain (Monadnock springs to mind) will tell you that they experienced the hiking version of stalking.

The reason that I feel this is a relevant thread for VFTT is that the larger societal issues of how men and women interact also affects how we hike together. And although I am new to the board in terms of posting, I've been reading it for a while and I am very impressed by the VFTT membership. You all seem like a thoughtful, reflective bunch and one that wants to exchange ideas and knowledge about hiking. So just as learning how to self-arrest or tie a bowline is relevant, I would argue that it is relevant to learn how to hike together since hiking is a social activity. And hiking presents some unique aspects to this dynamic. If you and I go on a multi-day backpack and we share a tent to save weight, what does that mean? And if on that backpack we see a "little bit more of each other" than we might normally see (because of changing clothes, washing up, etc.), what does that mean? If we come to a stream and you suggest skinny dipping and I accept what does that mean?

I think if male hikers are willing to listen to the concerns of female hikers and not trivialize or dismiss them, that would be a HUGE step forward.

So anyway .... er, wait.... uh,... where did this soapbox come from?

Uh...getting down now... (shoves the soap box back in the basement).

Okay, better now. Sorry about that.