Do I Look Like An Idiot?

I wanted to offer some unsolicited advice on handling unsolicited advice but, after reading this thread, I'm not sure how well it would be received.

WinterWarlock said:

That's good karma Woodsxc...besides, you never know when you might meet a new friend, someone from VFTT, or learn something you didn't know before, even if it's unrelated to hiking. I view everyone I meet as a potential teacher...even the idiots.

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The idiots are the best teachers!

WinterWarlock said:

That's good karma Woodsxc...besides, you never know when you might meet a new friend, someone from VFTT, or learn something you didn't know before, even if it's unrelated to hiking. I view everyone I meet as a potential teacher...even the idiots.

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An excellent point. Over the years we have been asked many times if we are members of VFTT.
And have also inquired the same from hikers we've met on the trail.

I think there is some confusion over the definition (or interpretation) of "unsolicited advice". I know that I, and I suspect many who think as I do, do not mind:

* Discussions about conditions
* Answering specific questions about conditions, directions, or what-can-I-see
* A friendly hello
* Are you a member of VFTT?

The stuff that irks me is more of the authoratarian kind like

* Why aren't you wearing snowshoes? You're post-holing up the trail.
* Where is your backpack? Did you leave it in the col?
* You're almost at the top, keep going, you're doing great.
* My equipment is better than your equipment
* Did you really let that person in your party get out of sight?
* You must start and finish every hike together!
* Any kind of value judgment on my hike, myself or my equipment

So you are going to get a variety of responses based on how the responder interprets the question.

Tim

bikehikeskifish said:

The stuff that irks me is more of the authoratarian kind like

* Why aren't you wearing snowshoes? You're post-holing up the trail.
* Where is your backpack? Did you leave it in the col?
* You're almost at the top, keep going, you're doing great.
* My equipment is better than your equipment
* Did you really let that person in your party get out of sight?
* You must start and finish every hike together!
* Any kind of value judgment on my hike, myself or my equipment
Tim

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And....

* You should have that dog on a leash...

And...

About halfway through a big loop hike I've done before, I met up with a woman with a group, who asked me if I were concerned about hiking alone with wild animals around. I then came to my senses and begged her to take me home with her and make me safe. What was I thinking. I could stub my toe, get bitten by a mosquito or worse...
No, really, I would have liked to say that.
Some people out of their element, really just don't get it.

Craig said:

And....

* You should have that dog on a leash...

And...

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Well, you should have that dog on a leash!

G.

I've been asked the "wild animals" question also, by non-local family members. They don't ask because they're stupid, or trying to be offensive, or don't "get it." They just lack information. I explain, and then they understand.

ryan207 said:

I think some people just come across to be condescending (hope thats how you spell it) and thats what makes all of this "advice" stuff a negative thing sometimes. Tones and expressions say it all, if you come across like you're giving orders or doubting their ability they are going to perhaps be offended. If you rearrange the words a bit and put a smile on your face, then they might thank you.

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I agree 100%. It's all in how it is given. Most people don't like to be told anything in an arrogant, know it all or boastful way. Or in a way that makes you feel like an idiot. There are many ways to give advice in a nonoffending way. It is always much easier to receive advice in a caring, concerned way or an educated way explaining why. Not just because I think and say so. We all know people in our everday life that are an authority on everything and want to make sure everyones else knows they are too. I guess it just makes them feel better. I have been lucky to not have gotten much advice on hiking. But I do get very upset on advice on my backpacking gear and what I should take and what I don't need. But that is another whole story. The only comment I get which irritates me, which is too often, is when hiking with my trekking poles. By those hikers that hike about 100 yards from their vehicle to an easy view and happen to pass me by on my way out is, "Did you lose your ski's?". Or "Where are your ski's" and then they chuckle. I usually just roll my eyes and give no response as it doesn't deserve one. Idiots.

TCD said:

I've been asked the "wild animals" question also, by non-local family members. They don't ask because they're stupid, or trying to be offensive, or don't "get it." They just lack information. I explain, and then they understand.

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Well, I usually don't try and instruct or train. I usually just smile and chuckle to myself. I don't waste my breath.

How come Tom Rankin gets to vote so many times?

Little Rickie said:

How come Tom Rankin gets to vote so many times?

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It's a multiple choice poll. You can choose all the options if you want.

bikehikeskifish said:

The stuff that irks me is more of the authoratarian kind like

* You're almost at the top, keep going, you're doing great.

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Those fascists!

Little Rickie said:

How come Tom Rankin gets to vote so many times?

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I have super powers!

Or maybe I'm, just a BIG idiot!

While hiking with my son up Carrigan we passed an AMC group that had stopped for a break. They packs,poles etc spread out on the trail. As we tried to navigate through the obstacle course someone said "watch your step. Those hiking poles are expensive."

My first thought...move your )(*%$& sh!t off the trail.

Second thought...stomp, snap, stomp, snap. Stomp stomp.

My actual reaction..."what a nice day we have."

I did chat with a few of them at the top. Turned out they were great people.

Craig said:

And....

* You should have that dog on a leash...

And...

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With all due respect to dog owners (and I have been one and I like dogs), I have been blocked from moving forward on a trail by a large dog who growled deeply and wouldn't let me pass until its owners (who were nowhere in sight) finally showed up! Of course, they told me that I was wrong, that their dog NEVER growls at anyone! In that case, those owners should have kept that dog on a leash, or perhaps the dog should have kept its owners on a leash so at least they would have been within sight of each other.

TCD said:

I've been asked the "wild animals" question also, by non-local family members.

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That reminded me of one of my favorite stories from a couple of years ago. I was chitchatting with a big, chiseled guy at the gym about backpacking. After I said that I take solo trips, I could tell he thought I was crazy. I figured he was getting ready for the often-asked aren't you worried about bears question.

But that isn't what he asked. Instead he said, "Aren't you afraid of the squirrels?"

- Ivy

Roxi said:

With all due respect to dog owners (and I have been one and I like dogs), I have been blocked from moving forward on a trail by a large dog who growled deeply and wouldn't let me pass until its owners (who were nowhere in sight) finally showed up! Of course, they told me that I was wrong, that their dog NEVER growls at anyone! In that case, those owners should have kept that dog on a leash, or perhaps the dog should have kept its owners on a leash so at least they would have been within sight of each other.

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Roxi, I had the same situation happen to me on Pack Monadnock. It completely ruined my day. The family just didn't consider others.

Roxi said:

With all due respect to dog owners....

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Please, let's not turn this into another dog thread. I beg of you.

Tom Rankin said:

I have super powers!

Or maybe I'm, just a BIG idiot!

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Well it seems the idiots have the best sense of humor.