TwinMom+1
Member
Our family – me, the hubby Paul, and my 19-year old twin sons Will and Jeff – completed our 48th on Carrigain this Sat 8/10/13 under blue skies and endless views. So many VFTT members are uber-hikers that a 48th finish seems passé now, but permit me a view back at the trail we have just summited so I can thank each of you, and savor the lessons we learned.
Will and Jeff’s autism brought us here. We began hiking 12 years ago because after a quick 1.0 mi up Pack Monadnock on the drive home from the Family Farm, we noticed how well the boys slept, and how calm they were for days. Bingo! we thought - let's do more of this. But stretching distance and elevation gain was an exercise in motivation and planning. Will had such profound motor planning difficulties that picking the rock for the next step took him 4x longer than the rest of us. Jaunts up little Mt. Kearsage were about all we could do, on a good day, with a promise of a playground slide at the end. Early trips could involve sit-down protests after each 100 yards, even if there was delight at the views. Their sense of time was limited, so we used picture cards showing “hike – hike – hike- mountain – snack” that we’d successively remove from a Velcro strip every 15 min or so as we climbed.
But on peak #1 of Eisenhower that changed. After 2 miles of a slog suddenly we emerged above tree line. Will danced a jig with grins ear to ear that I’d never seen, happy-feet that spoke to inner joy, while Jeff was mesmerized with the views and didn’t want to leave the summit. We were hooked. Each successive path showed us that while the boys had profound disabilities, they also have strong capabilities - patience, tolerance, a willingness to stick to it, and gentle spirits that try to understand and please. They might not be evident at school, but they sure showed here in "our" moutains.
We all come to these mountains with our own burdens. I tend to blather on about autism as it’s kind of dominated our lives, but in reading posts I know each of you have your journey with rocks and roots, and things to work through. Hiking became our metaphor for working to the boys’ strengths – seeing capability in disability. Yes they cannot read or count, struggle to write their name and butter their toast even today, but in hiking as in life, when we broke tasks into small learning-steps they could repeat over and over – there were peaks surmounted, in more ways than one. There were also things they did far better than other neurotypicals, and this happened to be one of them.
So on our final 48th, what better coincidence – if you believe coincidences exist - than to pass Randy Pierce who was descending from this, his peak #47 as we were almost to summit Carrigain for #48. Talk about a gift. It was utterly humbling to meet someone whose blindness far exceeded the challenges my guys face with motor planning, sensory integration and intellectual impairment - and to feel, beyond seeing, that we both belonged on that mountain, and both were near the top of our respective NH 4K lists (Randy I believe is soon to do his 48th – which is absolutely amazing). Such the gentleman, Randy made a huge fuss over my guys, and when I told Randy he was my inspiration, his answer was, “I have a really great team.”
My answer, choked thru instant tears, was “I do too.” And I meant it. I thought of the many loving teachers, therapists, helpers, Special Olympics coaches and the like who nurtured Will and Jeff to be more than some kids I meet in therapy waiting rooms. I thought of my family members who would come halfway across the country to stay with our boys to give us a few days of a break. I thought of my mother with whom I’d had rocky patches in our relationship but whose unconditional love for the boys, and me, shows that love is not about gifts and money, it’s about selflessly serving others. I found myself telling just about everyone we met on the trail that day that this was our 48th, and reveling in the congrats they genuinely shared with us.
I also thought of VFTT, and couldn’t wait to post this missive here. Thank you, VFTT members, for teaching me invaluable finer points of this amazing sport that is perfect for individuals with developmental disabilities I hit your posts often because reports here gave me concrete and highly detailed information to make safe choices on trails and conditions based on our capabilities at the time. It was an honor when someone sponsored me, and I feel a part of you, even if we haven’t met F2F. Thank you also, tolerant strangers, who have put up with our quirks – like Will’s extreme difficulty in motor planning on descents, such as the south slide of the Tripyramids that took him over 90 minutes. Or the stranger who ran ahead and nabbed Jeff as he marched far faster than us on to Wildcat C before the rest of us reached our destination of Wildcat A. Or the boys’ inimitable socially clueless moments, usually around bathrooming (like the 12-person AMC group on a traverse of the bonds on Labor Day weekend, when Will who was behind us by 100 feet, sudden dropped trou in the middle of the trail and took a, well, you know. And group members still so kindly said Hi to us the rest of the day as we criss-crossed paths, and I was mortified).
Whenever school staffs are idiots, we are tired and the list of skills the boys need to learn for adult living seems daunting, my husband says “But we’ve hiked XX four-thousand footers.” It’s our family mantra. Setting goals and accomplishing them is always a thrill, but this one will fuel me forever. With one foot in front of the other, one step at a time – everyone can climb to the heights. Thank you for being part of my team, in your own way, more than you know. Onward to the next list!
Our happy crew:
The neurotypical older sister, celebrating our 48th with us in her own special way:
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