This is the most honest and hilarious ski area conditions report I have ever read:

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SpencerVT

Member
Joined
May 26, 2015
Messages
406
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Location
Brattleboro, Vermont
Mad River Glen
Good news for some: a soft opening of the Sunnyside Double is slated for later this morning. Show up sometime around 11 a.m. to catch first rides and free-range to a slew of conditions up top. Scouting missions in the last 24 hours found highly variable surfaces that would make regular resort-goers cringe, but we’re going for it. Thin, rocky steeps and a breakable hooky ice crust on the upper half makes you feel like you have to put the work in; visible grass is poking through in many areas; frozen washboard track marks from wandering snowcats are jaw-clenching; un-attended water bars come out of absolutely nowhere.
It all adds up to perfect conditions for trashing the brand new skis that Santa brought you last weekend (MRG Rental skis are not allowed on the Sunnyside Double).

Crashing today could result in heinous injury; core shots are imminent. To make matters worse, snow could easily get tracked out to the point where we have to re-close the lift in the coming days if we don’t see enough new snow. We’re not sugar-coating it: ski it if you can, but ski it at your own risk and within your ability level. Although you’ll run into some beautiful, impeccable grooming below the Birdcage and on the lower half of Bunny, there is no easy way down so challenges up top are reserved for expert skiers only! Please obey all signage and closed signs and ropes. Otherwise, bring your rock skis and send it!
 
Skied with Dickie for the first time back in the early 80’s at MRG. A great guy and a realist. Just like the the rest of us curmudgeon shareholders. SpencerVT they are just getting going. Wait until you read the reports late season! https://youtu.be/_enScZV8Pg0
 
LOL.

Sounds like a call to testosterone! We’re gonna do our best to make crap skiing conditions sound like a challenge to the brave! And make you pay lots of money for bragging rights and the right to buy overpriced food.

I’m just as anxious to ski as the next guy, but if I wanna do it in the current garbage conditions, I’ll just buy a pair of roller skis, hike to the top of a snowless mountain in July and yee-haw it on down for free.

Meanwhile, I’ve had a couple of good December hikes on Cardigan and Belknap while I wait for good skiing conditions to arrive. :D
 
Nothing created an adrenaline burst in me more than the sound of "Loud Powder" under my slats. Or used to that is.
 
LOL.

Sounds like a call to testosterone! We’re gonna do our best to make crap skiing conditions sound like a challenge to the brave! And make you pay lots of money for bragging rights and the right to buy overpriced food.

I’m just as anxious to ski as the next guy, but if I wanna do it in the current garbage conditions, I’ll just buy a pair of roller skis, hike to the top of a snowless mountain in July and yee-haw it on down for free.

Meanwhile, I’ve had a couple of good December hikes on Cardigan and Belknap while I wait for good skiing conditions to arrive. :D
You could always move to the Middle East where there is always a fresh line to be had. Also no worries about expensive cafeteria food. You'll have to pack your own lunch. FWIW Roller skis aren't cheap.
https://youtu.be/z0JzGuZt7vQ
 
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You could always move to the Middle East where there is always a fresh line to be had. Also no worries about expensive cafeteria food. You'll have to pack your own lunch. FWIW Roller skis aren't cheap.
https://youtu.be/z0JzGuZt7vQ

Aw, c’mon dude. You could buy like two or three pairs of roller skis with your social security check and still have plenty left over to blow on a half day lift ticket and a slice of pizza at the lodge.

Rookie Roller Skis
 
Aw, c’mon dude. You could buy like two or three pairs of roller skis with your social security check and still have plenty left over to blow on a half day lift ticket and a slice of pizza at the lodge.

Rookie Roller Skis
I’m actually not collecting Social Security yet but when I do maybe I’ll have some left over for a slice. I actually built my own roller skis a way long time ago before whiper snappers knew what roller skis were. But then of course who needs a ticket when they can they work in the shop and know how to mount their own pair.
 
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