PETCH
New member
A day in the life of a hiker.....
Fellow walkers,
I thought I would share what I go through on a typical hike day. It would be interesting to hear what other rituals and routines others go through as well......
I apologize in advance for switching between 1st and 2nd person.......
Before the hike:
- When possible, try to eat pasta the night before a hike. The goal is to get some complex carbs in the tank. I read about it on Wikipedia, so it's gotta be true. The success rate of this happening is quite low. I often rely on Guinness to help my carb intake. (Yes, I know stouts are low in carbs....don't ruin it for me)
- Just in case and especially in bad weather, load some accurate tracks onto the GPS. USGS tracks bad, WMNF tracks good.
- Try to get 6 solid hours of sleep before a hike. This rarely happens as well. But, that's why they invented caffeine.
- Breakfast #1: After waking up, eat 2 packets of oatmeal (apple and cinn), and down a tall glass of water.
- Log into work on the laptop, and pray that there are no critical issues that would require an abort of the hike. After cursing your job, remember the job allows for the future procurement of hiking gear. Goretex is expensive. Breathable and waterproof? - yeah, right.
- Before leaving the apartment, perform the following preventative measures: Take 2 naproxen (allergic to ibuprofen), to keep knee pain away for the day. Apply a strip of duct tape to each heel to prevent heel blisters (force of habit/paranoia from bad fitting boots). Shave my left knee (and any other body parts that are necessary- no need to volunteer any more info here). Apply the McConnell taping method to my left knee. I have a very bad case of patellofemoral disorder, especially on my left knee. I have found this taping method to be invaluable in preventing knee cap dislocations. I'm not a doctor, but play one on the hiking trails.
- Try to remember to pack all the items I usually forget. But I forgot what those were, so chances are I forgot them again.
- Pick up any other hikers that have reluctantly agreed to come along. Even though you reminded them last time, continue to encourage them to bring the adult beverages next time.
- On the drive to the trailhead, stop at Dunkin Donuts to get 2 bagel sandwiches- one to eat on the way (Breakfast#2), and one for the pack for lunch. Also, on the drive, drink a coffee and/or an energy drink to caffeinate. Your body requires caffeine to function- at least that's what I keep telling myself.
- Notice that gasoline is cheaper in N.H., than in Maine. Think about the process of defecting.......
During the hike:
- At the trail head, remember to apply sunscreen to neck/head/etc when necessary. I usually forget to do this, and end up with a wicked case of farmer's tan.
- Slide on a knee brace over my left calf for later use.
- Clear the tracks log on the GPS, and reset the trip stats.
- Try to drink often to stay hydrated by using a 3 liter bladder in Summer, or the nalgene bottles in Winter. I usually drink between 2-3 liters during Summer hikes of 8-14 miles. During the Winter, I usually only drink about 2 liters regardless of the length of the hike. I know you're suppose to drink more in Winter to help keep your body warm, but I think I'm just too lazy in Winter......
- Try to eat something about every 45 minutes. I vary my snacks between Gu's, Shotblocks, candybars, Little Debbie snacks, and trailmix. I store the snacks on the hipbelt pockets on my pack. I will never buy another pack without this feature. It's the cat's meow.
- When stopping to take breaks, try to take a minute to stretch the calves, hamstrings, IT bands. Can't say enough how important this is, and how often I forget to do it.......
- During the steep part of the ascent, say to yourself "Whose ^%$#ing idea was this?". Repeat as necessary depending on length and steepness of trail.
- On the summit: Take a group picture with the dang flamingo. Look forward to a time in the future when dragging along this plastic lawn ornament will no longer be required.
- When necessary, do a shot of whisky that one of our hiking friends always insists on bringing. No names will be mentioned (cough, Dana, cough). I don't encourage this behavior, but sometimes it's unavoidable. I'm a slave to conformity.
- If real tired, throw down one of those 4 hour energy shots. Remember they only last about 1/2 hour. If you did have a shot a whisky, remember this formula: one energy shot for every shot of whisky. Simple enough.
- When visibility allows, stare and marvel at all the neighboring peaks that you wish you had the energy to hike to. This is why you came here right? Try to remember that you are human and not a mountain goat. Don't beat yourself up, there's always next time.
- Lunch: you know that 2nd bagel sandwich I bought to put in the pack? While 1/2 the time, I forget to pack it, and it stays in the vehicle for the hike........When this happens, I bum food off of other hikers. Use sad puppy dog eyes as needed.
- If the need arises, find an obscure summit rock, and vomit the contents of your stomach. At this point, "Leave no trace", gets thrown out the window. That shot of whiskey along with the Little Debbie snacks was a questionable decision, and you'd think by now that you'd know better. Vomiting causes dehydration, so remember to rehydrate. Just water this time.
- Slide the knee brace up over the left knee that has been sitting down on my calf. I find knee braces very uncomfortable, and only use them on descents- where I have had issues. Oh yeah, try to remember to stretch again.
- Continue to drink on the descent. Why carry around fluids? If you got it, drink it! Well, except the whiskey.
- Continue to snack as well. Beg and bum food when necessary.
- Again, during breaks, try to remember to stretch- you are old and falling apart, and need to stretch!!!!
- On rough/rocky downhills, foot placement is critical to prevent knee cap dislocations. If you feel you are slowing people up, let them pass. Don't try to run!! You are not a cheetah, and weren't meant to run. Repeat the following phrase "We don't need any heros!!!"
- Use hiking poles for the descent. Four legs are better than two. How many dogs do you see falling down hiking trails? Yeah, thought so...
After the hike:
- Celebratory beverage in the parking lot. At this point, anything that is even mildly appetizing gets ingested. Remember that bagel sandwich that has been sitting in the hot vehicle for the past 7 hours? Yeah, that gets eaten too. Jelly donuts? Oh yeah baby. Spam? Absolutely! You've just burned between 3000-6000 calories or more, so you know what that means- Guilt free eating for the rest of the day!!!! I have found that there never seems to be a Chinese buffet restaurant near any trailhead. I believe this was the result of an intense market study.
- Try to remember to stretch again, before getting in the vehicle- other wise you risk having the "Old Man Walk" effect next time you get out of the vehicle. Remember, you're old,......yeah, yeah...
- Stop at The Moat, Mt Washington Hotel, The Common Man, Mr Pizza, or 302West BBQ for another beverage and vittles on the way home. Think calories, feed the beast! Chili or bacon wrapped anything is always quite tasty.
- Further along the drive home, stop at Dunkin Dounts for a road coffee and donut.
- Once home, remember to take all the wet sweaty clothes, food wrappers, empties, etc out of your vehicle so you are not treated to foul smelling odors the next morning. That second trip out to the vehicle may hurt now, but you'll appreciate it later. Remember to dump out your water bottles, and bladder. Rinse out the bladder and put in freezer to prevent things from growing in it.
- Take a shower and treat whatever wounds you may have inflicted during the hike.
- Sit down, relax, and look back on the day and say to yourself "Yeah, it was worth it, so what are we hiking next?"............
Petch
Fellow walkers,
I thought I would share what I go through on a typical hike day. It would be interesting to hear what other rituals and routines others go through as well......
I apologize in advance for switching between 1st and 2nd person.......
Before the hike:
- When possible, try to eat pasta the night before a hike. The goal is to get some complex carbs in the tank. I read about it on Wikipedia, so it's gotta be true. The success rate of this happening is quite low. I often rely on Guinness to help my carb intake. (Yes, I know stouts are low in carbs....don't ruin it for me)
- Just in case and especially in bad weather, load some accurate tracks onto the GPS. USGS tracks bad, WMNF tracks good.
- Try to get 6 solid hours of sleep before a hike. This rarely happens as well. But, that's why they invented caffeine.
- Breakfast #1: After waking up, eat 2 packets of oatmeal (apple and cinn), and down a tall glass of water.
- Log into work on the laptop, and pray that there are no critical issues that would require an abort of the hike. After cursing your job, remember the job allows for the future procurement of hiking gear. Goretex is expensive. Breathable and waterproof? - yeah, right.
- Before leaving the apartment, perform the following preventative measures: Take 2 naproxen (allergic to ibuprofen), to keep knee pain away for the day. Apply a strip of duct tape to each heel to prevent heel blisters (force of habit/paranoia from bad fitting boots). Shave my left knee (and any other body parts that are necessary- no need to volunteer any more info here). Apply the McConnell taping method to my left knee. I have a very bad case of patellofemoral disorder, especially on my left knee. I have found this taping method to be invaluable in preventing knee cap dislocations. I'm not a doctor, but play one on the hiking trails.
- Try to remember to pack all the items I usually forget. But I forgot what those were, so chances are I forgot them again.
- Pick up any other hikers that have reluctantly agreed to come along. Even though you reminded them last time, continue to encourage them to bring the adult beverages next time.
- On the drive to the trailhead, stop at Dunkin Donuts to get 2 bagel sandwiches- one to eat on the way (Breakfast#2), and one for the pack for lunch. Also, on the drive, drink a coffee and/or an energy drink to caffeinate. Your body requires caffeine to function- at least that's what I keep telling myself.
- Notice that gasoline is cheaper in N.H., than in Maine. Think about the process of defecting.......
During the hike:
- At the trail head, remember to apply sunscreen to neck/head/etc when necessary. I usually forget to do this, and end up with a wicked case of farmer's tan.
- Slide on a knee brace over my left calf for later use.
- Clear the tracks log on the GPS, and reset the trip stats.
- Try to drink often to stay hydrated by using a 3 liter bladder in Summer, or the nalgene bottles in Winter. I usually drink between 2-3 liters during Summer hikes of 8-14 miles. During the Winter, I usually only drink about 2 liters regardless of the length of the hike. I know you're suppose to drink more in Winter to help keep your body warm, but I think I'm just too lazy in Winter......
- Try to eat something about every 45 minutes. I vary my snacks between Gu's, Shotblocks, candybars, Little Debbie snacks, and trailmix. I store the snacks on the hipbelt pockets on my pack. I will never buy another pack without this feature. It's the cat's meow.
- When stopping to take breaks, try to take a minute to stretch the calves, hamstrings, IT bands. Can't say enough how important this is, and how often I forget to do it.......
- During the steep part of the ascent, say to yourself "Whose ^%$#ing idea was this?". Repeat as necessary depending on length and steepness of trail.
- On the summit: Take a group picture with the dang flamingo. Look forward to a time in the future when dragging along this plastic lawn ornament will no longer be required.
- When necessary, do a shot of whisky that one of our hiking friends always insists on bringing. No names will be mentioned (cough, Dana, cough). I don't encourage this behavior, but sometimes it's unavoidable. I'm a slave to conformity.
- If real tired, throw down one of those 4 hour energy shots. Remember they only last about 1/2 hour. If you did have a shot a whisky, remember this formula: one energy shot for every shot of whisky. Simple enough.
- When visibility allows, stare and marvel at all the neighboring peaks that you wish you had the energy to hike to. This is why you came here right? Try to remember that you are human and not a mountain goat. Don't beat yourself up, there's always next time.
- Lunch: you know that 2nd bagel sandwich I bought to put in the pack? While 1/2 the time, I forget to pack it, and it stays in the vehicle for the hike........When this happens, I bum food off of other hikers. Use sad puppy dog eyes as needed.
- If the need arises, find an obscure summit rock, and vomit the contents of your stomach. At this point, "Leave no trace", gets thrown out the window. That shot of whiskey along with the Little Debbie snacks was a questionable decision, and you'd think by now that you'd know better. Vomiting causes dehydration, so remember to rehydrate. Just water this time.
- Slide the knee brace up over the left knee that has been sitting down on my calf. I find knee braces very uncomfortable, and only use them on descents- where I have had issues. Oh yeah, try to remember to stretch again.
- Continue to drink on the descent. Why carry around fluids? If you got it, drink it! Well, except the whiskey.
- Continue to snack as well. Beg and bum food when necessary.
- Again, during breaks, try to remember to stretch- you are old and falling apart, and need to stretch!!!!
- On rough/rocky downhills, foot placement is critical to prevent knee cap dislocations. If you feel you are slowing people up, let them pass. Don't try to run!! You are not a cheetah, and weren't meant to run. Repeat the following phrase "We don't need any heros!!!"
- Use hiking poles for the descent. Four legs are better than two. How many dogs do you see falling down hiking trails? Yeah, thought so...
After the hike:
- Celebratory beverage in the parking lot. At this point, anything that is even mildly appetizing gets ingested. Remember that bagel sandwich that has been sitting in the hot vehicle for the past 7 hours? Yeah, that gets eaten too. Jelly donuts? Oh yeah baby. Spam? Absolutely! You've just burned between 3000-6000 calories or more, so you know what that means- Guilt free eating for the rest of the day!!!! I have found that there never seems to be a Chinese buffet restaurant near any trailhead. I believe this was the result of an intense market study.
- Try to remember to stretch again, before getting in the vehicle- other wise you risk having the "Old Man Walk" effect next time you get out of the vehicle. Remember, you're old,......yeah, yeah...
- Stop at The Moat, Mt Washington Hotel, The Common Man, Mr Pizza, or 302West BBQ for another beverage and vittles on the way home. Think calories, feed the beast! Chili or bacon wrapped anything is always quite tasty.
- Further along the drive home, stop at Dunkin Dounts for a road coffee and donut.
- Once home, remember to take all the wet sweaty clothes, food wrappers, empties, etc out of your vehicle so you are not treated to foul smelling odors the next morning. That second trip out to the vehicle may hurt now, but you'll appreciate it later. Remember to dump out your water bottles, and bladder. Rinse out the bladder and put in freezer to prevent things from growing in it.
- Take a shower and treat whatever wounds you may have inflicted during the hike.
- Sit down, relax, and look back on the day and say to yourself "Yeah, it was worth it, so what are we hiking next?"............
Petch
