Set Expectations Low
I love car camping with the kids. Really, really love it. I hope you have 1/2 the fun that we do.
Since this is your first time camping, I strongly suggest keeping your menus as dirt simple as you possibly can. You've just driven 3 hours, its a little bit dark out, the tent and your kids are involved in a wrestling match, people need to go to the john, little joe has soaked his shoes and socks in a nearby stream and your back hurts!!! Not the time to be thinking about the 5 course meal. Not to worry though. After a few trips, the logistics of the other stuff becomes second nature and you can spend more time on cooking.
Some loose thoughts....
1) Boil, Don't Fry - Work with your wife to create a menu that can be done with only 2 pots and no frying of anything. This will keep scrubbing and grease disposal to a minimum later. Don't worry, even Kraft macaroni and instant oatmeal tastes magical around a camp fire.
2) Use the stove, not the fire to cook - It's way fun to cook over a fire. It sucks to have kids howling when you can't light the fire. There's an art to making fires. Practice just making a small fire for fun for the first few times. It just makes simpler to start with.
3) Get Block Ice, Ice Cubes and Buy Small Quantatiies of Milk - Keeping milk cold is one of the challenges faced with using a cooler. I don't expect to get more than a day out of our milk before it starts to smell.
4) Put all your cooking stuff in a single box that you can in/out of your car in one shot.
5) Get a good sized refillable water jug with a water spout. Daddie makes the water run since its heavy. Leave it on the end of the picnic table as a tap.
6) The advice to fire that stove up before you go should be repeated, so I'll repeat it. Here's a tip... make your evening tea in your back yard every night between now and the trip. The more you can make that stove second nature, the easier dinner will be.
7) McDonalds - Massive rain? Soaked sleeping bags? Grumpy kids? Put the clothes in a dryer a local laundramat and hit a McDonalds (insert your own comfort food here).