Do I Look Like An Idiot?

What Tim and Ivy said.

Maybe it's because I'm a retired Army NCO but I tend to over prepare for my hikes. Therefore nobody has ever approached me and tried to give me advice on any trail. Unless I am with my son or my wife comes along, I am usually hiking solo. Nobody has ever come up to me and asked me why I was hiking alone; could be the earbuds and the iPod that discourages them. If I'm asked for advice or help on the trail (just happened yesterday in fact) I will gladly give whatever help I can.

Here's what I hate to hear on the trail:

"It's not much further to the top; you're almost there!"

I'd rather hear:

"There are great views from the top. We think you'll love 'em."

People expressing concern for each other, what is the world coming to?!

If you don't like it, just ignore it!

Maybe 'they' are not as experienced as you, maybe 'they' are arrogant, are 'they' really hurting you? 'They' really can't help it, trust me! Because sometimes I am a 'they'! But I get it from the other side as well. I can take it, I'm a big boy.

So, just call me an idiot!

Where do you guys hike? Is there an epidemic of overbearing-unsolicited- advice-giving that I've somehow been immunized against? I just haven't ever had it happen with any frequency...but I would presume that when it does, it is either well intentioned, or someone likes the sound of their own voice...or both. Either way, no skin of my a$$.

As to giving advice, I only do so when asked. Fair warning here...if you ever meet me while you're ascending a peak and ask "how far to the top?" the answer is "about a half hour."

Tom Rankin said:

People expressing concern for each other, what is the world coming to?!

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Expressing concern in a polite way is one thing. That doesn't bother me.

Being told what I should or should not do, in an authoritarian tone of voice, is something else entirely. It's arrogant (the person assumes they know more than I do about my own hiking ability) and rude.

eruggles -- I've been guilty of that 'annoying" phrase a few times, in an effort to be encouraging. Now that I know it bothers some people, I'm going to make a conscious effort to use your suggested phrase instead.

eruggles said:

Here's what I hate to hear on the trail:
"It's not much further to the top; you're almost there!"

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I usually tell 'em they have another mile or two to go.

Seriously, I avoid giving advice because I don't know where they're going, their experience, or the likelihood that they really don't want to hear it. The other day I saw a family in jeans and work boots, no traction devices, no packs, heading up the Champney Falls Trail, still a long, and very slippery, way to the falls. Could I really tell them they're in for it and to give up now?

Tom Rankin said:

So, just call me an idiot!

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Who are you, and what have you done with Rik?

A friend of mine and I was heading up Beaver Brook trail on Moosilauke a late afternoon in September. 1/2 mile up the trail a very "volumous" woman was sitting puffing on a rock. She goes: "You can't head up the mountain this late in the day!"

Your initial reaction is to stuff her mouth with moss and roll her down the hill. But when you think about it, she is trying to save your life in case you don't know what you are doing. She does was she thinks is the right thing to do and it's a great opportunity to work on your humbleness to take advice from people on the trail in a situation like that. Give her a hug and cold beer and move on.....we didn't do that but if you did - she'll remember you forever.

Only time anyone ever started to think about giving me adivce was many years ago on Redfield in the Adirondacks. It was late in the afternoon and I had already set up camp nearby so I only had a daypack and was solo as always. Decided to make a run for Redfield before dark. So I get a little ways down the herdpath and a group of hikers coming from the summit (or so I assume) asked where I was going with some concern in their voice. I faked a French accent as best as I could and said "I am looking for Marcy Dam." Waited for their reaction of shock and then just started laughing before heading on my way.

Interesting thread. Some trail advice is driven by genuine concern, but I think most trail advice, AND most of the lengthy list here of "over reactions to trail advice" is driven by ego. BOTH the person who says "you should do this or that," AND the person who reacts "I'm angry because someone said something that underestimated my knowledge and ability" are letting their egos get the better of them.

I never mind advice, even if it's something that's plain wrong, or something that I've known for 20 years. Most of what I get is the "you're almost there" on mountains I've been up 100 times. It does me no harm to hear it. I used to get irked, but I trained myself out of it. Next time you get the unwanted advice, pause and see if you can hear your ego getting ready to react...

Generally, I will offer unsolicited advice if I think the other person might be in immediate danger (let's say from a steep icy slope, or an avalanche, or a bees nest). I generally don't say anything regarding slower moving dangers that can be reacted to, like drinking water, darkness, etc. The ego wants to give advice to show how much it knows, rather than out of concern for the other person.

TCD said:

I never mind advice, even if it's something that's plain wrong, or something that I've known for 20 years. Most of what I get is the "you're almost there" on mountains I've been up 100 times. It does me no harm to hear it. I used to get irked, but I trained myself out of it. Next time you get the unwanted advice, pause and see if you can hear your ego getting ready to react...

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Good point, TCD. When I hear that I'm almost there my first thought is, "Wow, do I look like I wish I were almost there?" I'm gonna work at training myself out of that reaction. Suppose I could say, "Wow, that was easy."

TCD said:

Interesting thread. Some trail advice is driven by genuine concern, but I think most trail advice, AND most of the lengthy list here of "over reactions to trail advice" is driven by ego. BOTH the person who says "you should do this or that," AND the person who reacts "I'm angry because someone said something that underestimated my knowledge and ability" are letting their egos get the better of them.

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It's not ego -- I simply hate being told what to do. By you, by my wife, by my kids, by the government... it doesn't matter.

It occurs to me that I *DO* give out one piece of advice on a routine basis. Any time I encounter a cyclist riding against traffic* I tell them they should ride with traffic.

It likewise occurs to me that you would hear a lot more advice if you could hear what other drivers were saying about you on your daily commute I hear it all the time when I'm on my bicycle, but not in my car. Hiking provides the opportunity to have an actual verbal exchange.

Tim
*Invariably this means we have met head-on

This is a really interesting thread! Chitchat, I welcome it. That's one of the few fun things about hiking well-traveled trails. "Wow, it's really blowin' up there!" ... that's fine, and I dish it out as well. But I don't see that as advice.

Unsolicited real advice, like having somebody tell me what I should be doing, that's kind of weird. I have rarely if ever gotten any, though I suppose I would welcome it if there were, like, a rabid yeti or a 10 foot boulder coming my way. That's the kind of unsolicited advice I'd give too... in life-threatening situations. But not much more than that.

Wonder if it is a bit of a gender thing? Not wanting to start any arguments, just wondering.

Weatherman

I've dispensed unsolicited advice from time to time, and I've certainly received it. One thing I've learned is that no one can offend you if you don't take offense. I simply smile and nod, or thank the person, or say something like "I'll take that advice in the spirit in which it was offered" and move on. That's what seems to make my day the most enjoyable.

weatherman said:

Wonder if it is a bit of a gender thing? Not wanting to start any arguments, just wondering.

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No argument from me. I definitely agree.

I'm a woman...I must be an idiot. I'm hiking alone...idiot. I'm running...recipe for disaster. And now I'm wearing a skirt...do I look like an idiot yet?

Favorite question (as I hiked with a shovel out after a bit of muddy trailwork ), "Did you just bury someone?"
I smiled, kept walking...and said, "Yes".

David Metsky said:

"I'll take that advice in the spirit in which it was offered" and move on. That's what seems to make my day the most enjoyable.

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You can make funny faces behind their back as they walk away and when they turn around to see what your laughing at keep making the faces. You'll laugh all day.

You have to remember they're wondering what's wrong with me anyway so why not keep them away for good and have a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

http://images.clipartof.com/small/1...ley-Face-Grinning-At-A-Victim-Of-Bullying.jpg

This is the real me.


http://www.sueclinker.co.uk/pix/cp_old_man_on_black_paper.jpg

Not that many people talk to me anyway.

carole said:

Favorite question (as I hiked with a shovel out after a bit of muddy trailwork ), "Did you just bury someone?"
I smiled, kept walking...and said, "Yes".

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What would the questions be if you had a shovel AND an ax?

I kind of secretly enjoy getting unsolicited advice. I generally take it as a compliment. Usually it just shows the narrow limits of the advisor's imagination.

bikehikeskifish said:

It's not ego -- I simply hate being told what to do. By you, by my wife, by my kids, by the government... it doesn't matter.

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Yup. Bingo.

Dave Metsky and Little Richie, you both have great points and I wish I shared your more casual attitude. I'll work on becoming more zen-like about this issue. Right now, it just pisses me off.